


There Isn't A Word For It In Common

by nah_tho



Series: Dumb Interspecies Relations [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Sex, BOY DO I DESERVE THAT TAG FOR THIS ONE, Dirty Talk, Interspecies Relationship(s), Kink Negotiation, M/M, Orc Culture, Polyamory, Rough Sex, Size Difference, Size Kink, because it's probably like four am, criminal misuse of d&d canon, ear play I guess, hoo boy the orc culture in this one folks, it's weirder because it's kinda canon, moon elf taako, morning sex but only sort of, this whole piece is buck fucking wild folks, well hey thanks for suggesting that tag while i was thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 00:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12876414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nah_tho/pseuds/nah_tho
Summary: Taako's very comfortable where he is, thanks. Brad should really, really get back to work.Orcish is a rich and nuanced language.





	There Isn't A Word For It In Common

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I use porn as a vehicle for character development. Let's drive this one into the deepest ring of Bradko hell, I guess. (Vrrrrroom.)

He began to stir from a deep, comforting meditation of lying with his cheek pillowed against thick grass, body warming in the gentle heat of two suns, the temperate breeze toying with his hair, and was dimly puzzled.

He could still feel that wash of heat. There were still wisps of something coarse tickling his face. His ears still tingled with sensation as something ghosted over his hair.

He made a soft noise of inquisition, reaching his senses out to the heavy ends of his body, finding his hands and curling his fingers into something coarse and dense before laying one palm flat against it.

He slid that hand up, out of that tangle and onto a clear expanse, jarring his fingertips against a small, hard rise and then exploring the hollow beyond it. He ran his hand up further, over a slope. His fingers found their way into a fall of smooth, wiry threads they couldn’t quite identify.

His ears twitched as wind stirred his hair again. The hill he was curled into the side of rumbled under his cheek.

He opened his eyes slowly, reluctantly, and was confused to still see green.

He lifted his head and let his eyes follow the path his hand had, recognizing first a thick collarbone, then a broad shoulder, before meandering off course to follow the line of a muscular neck to the edge of a strong jaw.

If he’d been less warm and drowsy, he probably would’ve found the small, affectionate smile Brad was giving him deeply embarrassing, but instead all he said was,

“Oh, it’s you. Hey homie,”

and lay his head back down on Brad’s chest, closing his eyes.

Brad’s chest rumbled again as he suppressed another laugh. Taako’s ears flicked, tickled by his breath.

He toyed with his hair in his left hand and felt Brad’s fingers trace delicately along the edge of one of his ears.

“Sorry,” Brad said quietly, “did I disturb you?”

Taako made an indifferent noise, too comfortable to want to bother with the effort of speaking, and then made another little sound involuntarily as a fingertip ghosted the inner edge of his ear in a way that made him shiver.

He felt Brad’s other arm, the one he was laying on, curl around his waist, and hummed.

“You’re so beautiful, Taako,” Brad said softly.

“Still not news,” he mumbled, and Brad laughed.

“It’s true, though,” Brad told him contemplatively. Taako could feel his voice thrumming in his chest. “I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

 Taako cracked open an eye to squint at him. “Bradson.”

“Yes?”

“You’re being a sap,” he complained, and then stretched out languorously, throwing a leg over one of Brad’s thighs. His own thighs felt sore, he realized, but in a good way. He felt something rest against his knee, and groped blindly to find out what.

Brad stopped toying with his ears to grab his hand so quickly that it startled Taako into opening his eyes again. He squinted resentfully as Brad kissed the inside of his wrist. “Go back to… wherever you go,” Brad said, with a pause that suggested he wasn’t quite sure how Taako’s meditations worked.

“Brad,” Taako mumbled, poking his face with the index finger of the hand still caught in his grip, “it’s just four hours with elves, my dude.” He held up four fingers in demonstration. “Cha boy’s just lazy.”

Brad hummed noncommittally and made no comment on that, which Taako thought was a smart move.

He narrowed his eyes at him, considering his options. “If you’re enjoying this cuddle _sesh_ so much, my man,” he said slyly, “you could always wear me out again. Taako’s got nothing going on.” It was only half a joke. Once he’d said it, his dick stirred a bit in interest.

Brad stroked a thumb over Taako’s palm. “I really should go back to the base,” he said, but he didn’t sound especially bothered. “I’m supposed to be working.”

“Yuh-huh,” Taako said, not even bothering to disguise what he was doing as he rocked his budding erection against Brad’s hip. “ _Deffo_ not making employee of the month after this one.”

Brad laughed, clearly caught off-guard. It was a nice sound, Taako realized. Brad had a nice laugh. He wondered why he hadn’t noticed that before.

“Probably not, no,” Brad agreed, and Taako could hear the smile in his voice. “And going back to work at this hour would probably be pointless. And… well.”

Taako looked up him. “Hmm?” Brad had a bit of rueful expression.

“The Director probably isn’t very pleased-” Brad started to say, and Taako legitimately could not prevent the sharp, ugly laugh that provoked.

“Brad,” he said, worming his hand free from Brad’s loose grip and using it push himself further upright. “Brad Bradson. My good dude. Don’t be a dumbass.” Brad was giving him an odd look. “Lucretia _deffo_ sent you here to bribe me into not being mad at her about that whole… your apartment thing,” he said flatly. “She went like, ‘hmm, you know what makes it real hard for cha boy to hold a grudge? Orc dick, I bet’,” he said, and Brad sputtered. “How’s that for some prime ‘interdepartmental mediation’, my dude?”

Brad opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “The Director wouldn’t-”

Taako raised his eyebrows and leveled a stare at him. “ _Sorry_ , who spent a hundred years on a spaceship with her? ‘Cause it sure wasn’t you,” he needled. “She wasn’t gonna, like, tell you to bone down on me so I’d stop giving her trouble and come to that ‘we saved the world, good for us’ shitshow in Goldcliff next week like I’m supposed to, but that’s what she was banking on when she asked, I guaran-fucking-tee it. She’s just gonna call me about it as soon as she knows you’re back- she’s gonna act like nothing happened and it was something I forgot about,” he grumbled.

Brad was frowning.

Taako faltered. “I know you think she’s like…” he licked his lips, trying to figure out a way to say what he was trying to say without sounding abrasive. “I guess she’s maybe your hero, a bit? But she’s got her own shit, my man. We all do. Saving the universe doesn’t make you a perfect person,” he admitted. “Just look at me.”

He didn’t like the look of serious contemplation Brad was giving him.

“That’s not to say I’m not fucking perfect,” Taako amended hastily, running his nails over Brad’s chest in a way that he wanted to seem flirtatious but was pretty sure just seemed like a nervous tic. “Even Taako’s shit smells like crème brûlée.”

Brad was still giving him that look.

Taako fidgeted uncertainly and then turned his back to Brad, flopping down on the bed petulantly when he realized the arm around his waist was going to limit his options when it came to dramatic conversation closers. “You know what? Forget it. Don’t worry about it. Cha boy’s just running his mouth. No big.”

He felt the bed shift as Brad rolled onto his side behind him, chest pressing up against his back.

“No,” Brad said, after a long moment, “I think you’re probably right. Sometimes it’s just easy to forget the seven of you are ordinary people.”

Taako snorted. “Ain’t nothing ordinary about this cat, my dude, speak for yourself,” he said, gesturing at himself, and Brad laughed again.

“No,” he said, and by this point Taako was awake enough to feel embarrassed by the warmth in his voice, “you are definitely not ordinary.”

He started to say something rude in response, but then lost it as Brad first scraped his teeth over the side of his throat, and then, apparently finding the angle problematic, very gently set them on the edge of Taako’s right ear.

Dimly, he realized that Brad was starting to understand the pattern of sounds he produced, because any time they had interacted previously, he would’ve immediately drawn back at the breathless shriek Taako made in response.

“Was that okay?” he asked instead, breath ghosting over Taako’s hair.

 Taako tried to answer, but could only summon a strangled noise. He was preoccupied with trying to decide how he felt about the very unexpected way the normally indifferent nerves in his ear had all woken up at once, and about how his heart was racing.

While he knew there were other elves who found it pleasurable to have their ears touched, and while he’d experimented with his own before, curious as to the appeal, his own experience had always been that having them stroked and played with just felt nice in a way he was largely apathetic about.

“What did you _do_?” he shrieked, pressing a hand to his chest like his heart might burst out of it.

“Sorry,” Brad murmured, squeezing him around the middle, “I didn’t realize. I won’t do it again.”

“No,” Taako snapped, “no, I mean- no, do that again,” he demanded, and Brad loosed a surprised little huff and then laughed.

Even when he was expecting it, the sensation was so intense it ripped a weird, pathetic whine out of him. Brad’s teeth felt like they were exploring the edge of his ear excruciatingly slowly. He had to fist his hand in the covers to resist the urge to scramble away.

When Brad’s teeth reached the tip, he croaked out what was very possibly the most embarrassing noise he had ever made in his entire life. He was somehow simultaneously desperately hard and quaking like a bird in the mouth of a cat. He couldn’t catch his breath. He could feel his pulse in a half dozen places on his body: in his throat, in his palms, below his ribcage, between his legs, in his ear where Brad wasn’t quite biting down on it.

He whined again when Brad released his ear.

“Huh,” Brad said, and Taako wanted to hit him until he ran his fingers over the thrumming edge of that it, at which point Taako wanted to die, but in a very good way.

“ _What did you_ _do?_ ” he demanded again, half through his nose. His throat felt strangely tight.

Brad paused. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked. When Taako didn’t respond immediately, the pressure of his fingers vanished.

“ _No_ ,” Taako objected, worming his way backwards, closer, more tightly flush against the body behind him.

It took him just a split-second to identify the hard object he’d backed into as Brad’s dick, which was apparently extremely interested in what was happening. The soft hiss Brad made when he pressed his thigh back against it confirmed his suspicions.

“You’re kinda into this, _huh_?” Taako accused.

“Yes,” Brad admitted, his arm tightening around Taako’s waist, “it’s a little bit-” he paused, and mumbled something glottal and foreign-sounding. “I don’t think there’s a word for it in Common.”

“So translate for me, then,” he said, trying to decide if he wanted to scoot downwards to grind back on Brad’s dick when it meant it might put his ears out of convenient distance of Brad’s mouth.

Brad rumbled uncertainly. “It’s Orcish,” he said, “and it means… ‘eroticism through danger’.” Something about his tone suggested he wasn’t entirely satisfied with that translation. “It’s a concept of arousal that’s specific to hunting an enemy that might outmatch you.”

Taako paused halfway through repositioning himself as he registered what Brad had just said. “What?”

“Sorry,” Brad said, sounding a little self-conscious, “I’m sure that sounds extremely strange to you. That doesn’t mean I suddenly want to hurt you, Taako-”

“No, but like- that’s a _thing_ with orcs?” he croaked. “Being like ‘might get murdered in a sec, holy shit am I ever ready to bone down’ is a _thing_ for you?” He had a thought he really wasn’t sure how to feel about. “Brad, you know I can like- I mean, I know you know I can, ‘cause everybody knows, now, with the whole- is this a _thing_ for you?”

Brad was very quiet, but Taako heard him swallow.

“Brad, are you _into_ me being able to fucking _obliterate you_?” he asked again, starting to feel a little hysterical.

“…Yes,” Brad said, after another long moment. It sounded like a very reluctant admission.

Taako had absolutely no idea how to parse that. He stared through the bedside table uncomprehendingly. He heard Brad swallow again.

“I’m sorry if you find that upsetting,” Brad said quietly.

Taako wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or scream. “No,” he said, “it’s not- I don’t hate it, I mean, it’s just-” His own voice sounded strange to him when he laughed. “Brad, usually people are like ‘ _hoo boy_ , Taako, sure wish you weren’t able to murder me so easy if this thing breaks bad’ not like ‘oh thank _fuck_ cha boy can send my _green ass straight to hell_ ,’ you know?” He was aware his voice had risen into a shriek, but couldn’t help it. “You’re gonna have to give me a minute with this one, _my man_.”

“That’s absolutely fair,” Brad said reasonably. “Take your time.”

Taako found his opinion of this response slightly altered by the realization that Brad’s erection had not diminished even slightly over the course of their conversation.

“I’m gonna ask you something, my man,” Taako said. “I feel like you think that if I decide this is too fucked up for even me, I might just let you know the hard way, vis-à-vis that obliteration thing,” he suggested, rocking back against Brad’s erection and humming thoughtfully when Brad strangled a groan, “and that’s kinda just making this whole thing a little hard for you to settle down about. How Taako’s aim on that one?”

When Brad finally answered, he sounded like he’d have preferred not to. “It’s very accurate,” he said, voice going tight when Taako casually expended a spell slot to summon a Fireball in his palm.

The shock was, mercifully, starting to fade, and what it left Taako with was something a little wicked. “I’m not one to yuck any yums, my dude, but that’s a weird one,” he teased, rolling his hips more purposefully and grinning at the way Brad’s breath went a bit shaky. “Y’know, I’ve gotta hand it to you, Bradson, you do a real good job of pretending you’re kind of a boring dude who’s just down for whatever and doesn’t have anything really freaky he’s into.”

“Um. Thank you?” Brad said. His breathing was uneven against the top of Taako’s head.

“Hey, Brad,” Taako said, gleefully sing-song, “may I?”

Brad went a little stiff behind him, like he was a bit nervous about what Taako was asking permission for, but said,

“Okay. Sure.”

Taako dismissed the fire in his hand, reached out to where Brad had placed the hand of his free arm against the mattress, and tugged it close.

Brad relaxed a little.

Taako nudged his fingers and thumb away from his palm, forming his hand into a c-shape.

Brad relaxed a little more. “What are you-”

Taako pressed his throat between Brad’s thumb and forefinger.

The body behind him went very tense, very quickly, and even without speaking the language, he knew the word Brad barked out was absolutely, without a doubt, some kind of curse. “Taako-”

“Is this okay?” Taako teased, removing his hand from the back of Brad’s to see if he’d pull it away. He didn’t. His palm was warm and broad. Taako could feel his pulse. “I mean, don’t actually choke me, though. Unlike you, I don’t have a fucking death wish I get off on. But how’s Taako’s aim now, huh?”

Brad swallowed again, and mumbled something in that unfamiliar language again.

“I asked you,” Taako prodded, arching back against him, “how my aim was, Bradson.”

“…Consistently accurate,” Brad said quietly. His dick was almost uncomfortably hard against Taako’s ass.

“Do that thing with my ears again,” Taako demanded, and whined when Brad hastened to oblige.

Brad groaned like he was in pain when Taako started shivering again. Taako could feel how unevenly his breath was coming as he scraped his teeth along the edge of his ear, could feel the pounding of his pulse in the hand around his neck, could feel the sheer desire of him in the way the arm around his waist was clutching him tight.

He shrieked as Brad nipped at the tip of his ear again, and Brad bit down a little harder, his hand on Taako’s throat twitching as Taako yelped.

“Sorry,” Brad mumbled, burying his face against the top of Taako’s head. “Sorry. Taako, I need to- sorry. Sorry.”

Taako squeaked as Brad rutted hard against his ass, startled by the urgency of it. “Woah, you, uh, you okay back there?”

Brad’s laugh sounded strangled for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with how he was muffling it in Taako’s hair. “I need to calm down,” he said tightly, “I need to calm down, or-” Taako felt him shake his head.

When the hand around his throat started to pull away, he pressed it close again, using both hands. “Or?”

For a long moment, it seemed like Brad was going to say something. He didn’t.

What he did do was hunch down, press his lips to the nape of Taako’s neck, and then set his teeth against it with enough force to make Taako shout.

He whipped back, muttering apologies again. “Sorry. Sorry-”

“No,” Taako gasped, reaching back to pull the hair away from his neck. “No, that’s okay, you can do that-”

Brad groaned from a place so deep in his chest he sounded like he might be dying. “Taako,” he rumbled, “Taako, I know it’s only been a few hours and you’re probably sore-”

“Fuck yes, fuck _me_ ,” Taako demanded, scrambling towards the bedside table, “oh shit, where’s the lube-”

He wasn’t sure what kind of magic Brad used to find it so quickly, but it seemed almost improbable how fast he was pressing the first of his fingers into Taako’s ass, mumbling something that sounded like thanks to his goddess for the fact that Taako was still a little loosened up after their earlier exploits.

He peppered Taako’s ears and throat and shoulders with a mix of kisses and bites as he thrust his finger in and out of his asshole, and Taako scrabbled at the bed, whining and shivering.

By the time he’d worked his third finger in and was pumping all three in unison, which felt somehow like it had taken an impossibly long time to achieve, his teeth were set hard enough against the curve of Taako’s shoulder to be nearly painful.

“Please,” he said first, withdrawing his fingers, and then, “we should probably put down a towel-”

Taako threw the covers back and groped behind him blindly, finding Brad’s erection and bearing down on it. “ _Fuck_ the towel, honestly-”

Brad started trying to push in and then stopped with a laugh that sounded genuinely painful. “I need-” He started trying to spread lube on his erection while Taako was still pressing back against it, and then rolled away onto his back.

Taako scrambled to his hands and knees, affronted, but before he could say anything, Brad gave him a weird, tight look and said,

“You need to be on top. I don’t think I can- you need to be on top, Taako.”

He started swinging a leg over and then had a better idea, turned around, and swung his other leg over Brad’s hips, grabbing Brad’s dick to line it up against his ass.

Brad groaned. “Gods, Taako.”

He gasped and shook when he felt his asshole stretch over the thick head of Brad’s dick. “What, don’t like the view?” he panted, looking back over his shoulder.

Brad was looking at his ass with a complicated expression.

“Wha-”

“You have bruises,” Brad said quietly. Taako felt one sting as Brad’s fingers smoothed over it, like he hoped he could rub it out like a spot of dirt.

“Happens,” Taako said dismissively, and pushed down a little further, loving the way the body under him shuddered as he did. He pulled Brad’s hand away from his ass and pressed it to his throat again. Brad’s other hand tightened on his thigh.

Taako glanced back at him. “Let’s try this again: enjoying the view?”

Brad opened his mouth to say something, laughed strangely, and then swallowed again. “Yes.” Taako laughed and kept bearing down, and then Brad spoke again. “I love watching you take me,” he said quietly, “you’re so small, and I feel like there’s no way I should fit inside you, and that wasn’t something I knew I was-”

Taako hummed, rolling his hips in a circle. “Ooh? Well, that’s two things we have in common then,” he teased, pressing Brad’s hand a little more firmly to his throat. “But I already knew I liked ‘em big, so that’s another point on Taako’s scorecard.” He paused. “Okay, well, not _this_ big, but still.” He sighed as he felt himself bottom out on Brad’s dick. “Just in case I forgot to mention: you, my dude, are fucking _big_.”

“I know,” Brad murmured, and then moaned as Taako started to ride him.

“Hey, Brad,” Taako panted, slowing down, “I’m gonna pitch another one. Tell me how my aim is?”

Brad’s fingers twitched around his throat. “Of course.”

“Are you down to hold my arms behind my back?” he asked, watching Brad’s face out of the corner of his eye.

Brad made an agonized sound and closed his eyes. “Taako, you’re killing me.”

“We both already know you’d like that,” Taako reminded him, “Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Brad said, and Taako grinned.

“Three for three, cha boy’s got your fucking _number_ ,” he bragged, and then squeaked when Brad let go of his throat to take him by the upper arms.

“Do you want me to-” he started to ask, and then trailed off when Taako folded his arms behind his back, holding his forearms parallel against each other. “You’re killing me.”

He moaned when Brad closed a hand around both easily, holding him in place, and barely even noticed Brad pushing himself up into a semi-sitting position with the other.

“Taako,” Brad murmured, suddenly very close, “you do realize these aren’t things people let me do to them, right?”

Taako shivered as his breath tickled the back of his neck, his scalp, his ears.

“I am an _orc_ ,” Brad told him, and bit down lightly on the edge of his ear again, making him shriek. “It’s a trust issue.”

“O-“ Taako started, and then whimpered as Brad grazed his teeth against the column of this throat. “Okay?”

“You’re spoiling me too much,” he said, and Taako laughed.

“You think I’d-” he yelped as he rolled down onto Brad’s hips as they were rocking up. “You think I’d even offer if it wasn’t something _I_ was into? Don’t trip. This isn’t for you.”

Brad groaned and murmured something in Orcish again. “Can I pitch something, then?”

“Shoot,” Taako panted.

“Can I have you on your knees?” he asked.

Taako made a noise like air escaping from a balloon. “Shit _yes_ you can,” he croaked, scrambling to get his legs under him without accidentally pulling off of Brad’s dick or falling over. Brad let go of his arms to guide him onto his hands and knees, and then pulled them behind him again, leaving his cheek pressed against the mattress, his back arched, and his ass up. “Oh shit, so that’s how you wanna do this?”

“Is this okay?” Brad asked.

“Yeah, obviously,” Taako said, and then whined as Brad pulled almost entirely out and then thrust back into him in one long, slow motion. “Oh _shit_.”

“Tell me if it gets to be too much.”

He was about the ask what when he felt Brad’s other hand close around his throat again and Brad’s teeth graze the edge of his ear, and then all he could do was wail.

The slap of Brad’s hips against his ass; the pressure of his dick inside him, retreating and returning in long, rhythmic thrusts; the pressure of his hand on his throat; the ache in his shoulders from the grip on his arms; the fireworks blaze of his nerves coming alive under Brad’s teeth:

When Brad said something to him, he had no idea what it was, just opened his mouth and produced a stream of meaningless sounds in answer before wailing again.

Much later, when he wasn’t thinking about it at all, he’d realize that what Brad had said was,

“You really are perfect, Taako,”

and would be completely unable to explain to Kravitz why his face had very suddenly gone quite purple for no apparent reason.

In that moment, he just wailed.

Brad lavished his ears with gentle bites and let go of his throat. Taako choked on a moan as he felt that hand stroke his neglected dick.

“Pound me,” he gasped, and Brad released his ear to repeatedly mutter something he knew couldn’t be Common.

He shrieked, nearly screamed, even, as Brad leaned part of his weight into his hold on his arms and started to fuck into him more roughly, other hand stroking fast between his legs.

He came like that, with a shout, knees edging farther forward with every powerful thrust, just moments after Brad did, like he had earlier: the hard pulse of Brad coming felt a lot better before he came himself, before coming made him strange and sensitive, which was something he’d suspected and thought more about than he was willing to admit.

He rode it out, mewling a little at the last few pulses, feeling boneless and brainless.

The ache in his shoulders reproached him as Brad let go of his arms, and he groaned as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. His stomach was unpleasantly sticky. He’d made poor choices, he suspected.

Brad was breathing hard on the back of his neck, and pulled out with a soft curse.

Taako rolled onto his side, away from the smear he’d made on the sheets, and tried to ignore the slightly unpleasant feeling of something leaking out of him.

Brad was quick, though probably not quick enough to save Taako the explanation he’d have to give Kravitz, and when he came back for the third time, he tilted Taako’s chin up and kissed him.

Taako leaned into the kiss lazily, savouring it, ignoring the faint sour taste of his own morning breath. He rolled the sounds around in his mouth absentmindedly, and spoke them when Brad pulled back.

Brad froze. A very strange expression crept over his face. “What?”

Taako repeated the word, or phrase, whatever it had been that Brad had been chanting over and over, acutely aware that he was probably butchering it. “What does that mean?”

Brad was giving him an extremely weird smile. “Your Orcish accent is very cute, Taako,” he said, and Taako squinted at him.

“Okay,” he mumbled, “but what does it mean?”

Brad’s face smoothed over into that same politely professional look of interest Taako had seen him use on Lucretia. “It doesn’t translate well,” he said lightly. “We should probably-”

“I could ask Killian,” Taako mused, and Brad’s calm demeanor cracked instantly.

“ _You can’t_ ,” he protested, and Taako pushed himself up on his elbows.

“Why not?”

Brad ran a hand over his face. “You just… you can’t. You can’t say that to Killian. We’re the only two people in the Bureau who speak Orcish well enough to-” Brad was starting to look a little desperate. “You can’t say that to Killian. She’ll know I’m the one who said it to you.”

“So tell me what it means,” Taako said, “like… now, maybe? If you’ve been saying some nasty shit to me, my dude, I’m gonna find out one way or another,” he pointed out.

Brad stared at the ceiling. Taako watched his throat bob as he swallowed.

“What,” he said again, “exactly did you say to me, Brad Bradson?”

Brad looked a little like he thought Taako might kill him, but not in a way he was apparently into. “It’s… something like… ‘you pretty slut’? Something like that,” he said, and Taako screamed with laughter.

“Wait, _sorry_?” Taako shrieked, “ _You_. You?” He was laughing so hard it was difficult to speak. Brad looked terribly embarrassed. “You, of all people- do your coworkers know their _hero_ talks like that?” He had an evil thought. “Does Lucretia?”

Brad gave him a look of alarm. “Please don’t, Taako,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry if I offended you-” Taako laughed again, and looped his arms around Brad’s neck.

“Naw,” he purred, “Just didn’t know you had it in you, Bradson.” He could feel the shit-eating grin on his face. “So you think I’m a pretty slut, do you, _hmm_?”

Brad opened his mouth. Closed it.

“Say it,” Taako purred, and when Brad opened his mouth again, added, “in Common, so I can understand it.”

“Taako-”

“Say,” he breathed, “it. You didn’t have any trouble before, so what’s the hold up, my man?”

Brad sighed. “I think you’re a _very_ pretty slut,” he said awkwardly, and with the same intonation he would’ve used for an apology.

Taako burst out laughing again.

**Author's Note:**

> ORC FACTS:
> 
> \- IN A SOME SOURCES, ORCS ARE SPECIFIED AS HAVING A DEFINITE PREFERENCE FOR STRONG MATES BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GET STRONG YOUNG, AND A COUPLE OF OF THOSE SOURCES HIGHKEY IMPLY SOMETIMES COUPLES FORM BECAUSE SOMEBODY TRIES TO KILL SOMEONE ELSE AND I CANNOT INTERPRET THAT AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN SOME FUCKING ORC GOING "oh shit the way you almost killed me has put me in a decidedly different mood, you down though?" SO YES: THIS IS A PLAUSIBLE THING HELP ME ORCS ARE BUCK FFFFUCKING WILD
> 
> Trivia:
> 
> \- okay but tell me the idea of Brad Bradson calling someone a slut during sex and then being extremely embarrassed about it isn't the fucking funniest goddamn idea I've ever written in a porn fugue


End file.
